I have been on pretty much all sides of the Mommy Wars. You know the Mommy Wars. The constant battle over who has it harder and who is in the right. Who is raising their children the right way and who is ruining their children forever. Yes, those Mommy Wars.
I began as the young mom. I married at 18 and had my first son at age 19. Then, I was a stay at home mom for the first 11 months of my oldest son’s life. After those 11 months I went back to work full time. So I was a working mom. I was also a military wife at the time. Anyone knows that being a mom within the military life is a different world all its own. Then I was the stay at home mom to two. Then back to work. THEN the big one….I was a single, full time working, part time student mom.
Are you still with me?
Then I was the stay at home mom again. Then we added son #3 and son #4. So now I am the stay at home, homeschooling mom of four.
All this to say, I understand where almost every woman is coming from. I understand the need to feel important to yourself and to the world as something other than “just a mom”. I understand that deep down desire to be the most important person in your child’s world. I understand the wanting to stay at home and be with your children as much as possible.
I understand the need to have a life of your own outside your home.
I understand that sometimes being a mom can be a drag.
I also understand there is no more important job in the world.
I also know, that no matter what stage of motherhood I have been in I have ALWAYS had terrible guilt about something. Guilt about dropping my kids off with strangers for nine hours a day. Guilt about not feeding them enough vegetables. Guilt about yelling too much or not paying enough attention.
Guilt, it’s what we moms do.
So I am here to say that I know that 99.9% of moms are good moms that only want what is best for their children. I believe in my case that is to be a stay at home, homeschooling mom. What is best for you and your kids? I don’t have a clue. I don’t pretend to know.
On the same note, no one outside God, me and my husband can dictate what being a good mom to MY kids looks like.
In the end…..my name is LaShawn. I am just a mom.
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” Proverbs 31: 10-12; 25-28
This post was first published on Mothering with a Purpose June 27, 2010.
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