Last week, my aunt and I took a road trip to Mississippi sans kids. It was really a great idea–I needed to spend some time with my aunt (who I’ve only known has existed for 5 years!) and the boys needed some guy time with their dad. I did feel badly about leaving the family the same week as Thanksgiving, until I called that Thursday evening and this is what they said:
Me: “How is it going?”
Boys: “We are having the best week EVER!”
Me: “Really? What have y’all been doing?”
Boys: “We went to the movies and store, rode our bikes, went to the park, we’ve been playing games, and we even went out to eat for Thanksgiving!”
Me: “Cool! Where did y’all go out to eat for Thanksgiving?”
Boys: “Burger King.”
And then I felt bad again.
My aunt said I shouldn’t feel bad because the it didn’t really matter what they ate for Thanksgiving as long as they liked it. I toyed with that idea for a few moments until I realized that at school their teachers and friends would ask them what they ate for Thanksgiving. Sorry, but Burger King for Thanksgiving is so lame.
My aunt and I had fun though and we had our Thanksgiving dinner at an all you can eat buffet…dude, they served rutabaga, black eyed peas, okra, collard greens, and just a few other favorite Southern dishes. My aunt has been wanting to go to some casinos in Mississippi and Thanksgiving weekend just so happened to be the only time we both could get together for a few days. I was nervous going to a casino seeing as I’d only been to one once in Detroit after eating at Wolfgang Puck courtesy of General Motors and Chevrolet…and that $10 got donated to the casino.
My aunt’s philosophy is that you don’t visit a casino to make money–if you do, you’re surely going to lose it. When you have expectations of making money while gambling that’s when gambling problems arise. When she goes to casinos she’s goes to have a good time and to get away. Personally I freaked out just a little bit every time the “make bet” button got pushed. Especially when she had me push the button.
I decided to spend $10 in the slot machines, plus one casino gave me $5 in free play money and guess what–I lost it all. So my lesson learned is the house always wins. Always. That’s the last of my gambling days, especially when my aunt and I had to decide whether or not to pay tithing on the devil’s dues:
The hotels we stayed in were nice–rooms and all. However, I’m still shocked at how much everything cost. Another lesson I learned while in Mississippi is that you should expect everything–and I mean everything–to cost at least TWICE to three times what it normally would. Like the buffet at $20 per person. Like I said, the house always wins.
Other things I learned on our Mississippi road trip:
- There’s a run down church on every corner.
- “On the river” means really on the inside of the levy. You don’t really have to have a river view to be on the Mississippi River.
- I can eat junk food and greasy meals and still lose a pound. Probably because the grease works as a laxative.
- Convenience stores sometimes also work as head shops complete with fancy pipes and bongs.
- Casinos like to keep it cold–probably because the alcohol most of their patrons are drinking keeps them warm. Me? I just wore my coat or jacket everywhere.
- Casinos like to have their waitresses wear skanky clothes. I was thinking the one girl with the overflowing chest probably could have used her boobs as an additional cup holder.
- Mississippi is awesome because they still have Piggly Wiggly. I grew up next door to a Piggly Wiggly.
- It is possible to stay up until 3 am and not even realize it’s so late.
- It is possible to drive for hours, arrive home at 4 am, and not even be tired.
- It is possible to stay up for 37 1/2 hours and then crash. Even after your oldest gave you a “welcome home” by accidentally giving your youngest a bloody nose by karate kicking him in the nose.
It’s so good to be Home Sweet Home.