Tips to Help You Reinvent and Rediscover Yourself Post Divorce
Divorce dissolves the relationship you began with lots of enthusiasm and hope.
Well…
After you’ve signed the papers for divorce, it’s over! No two divorce stories are similar. You could have been married for just a couple of years or several decades before divorce comes knocking on your door.
Some divorce cases involve children while others don’t. It’s also possible for couples to agree on separation. Other times, a single spouse is behind a divorce case. Divorcees end up with heartbreaks or relief, or a combination of both emotions.
Despite your reasons for divorce, you need to understand where to go next. As a divorcee and newly single person, what do you want and how do you find out your new self?
How’s your new life like? And, how can you move towards attaining that new self? Here’s how to reinvent and rediscover yourself after divorce:
6 Tips to Help You Overcome Divorce and Rediscover the New You
Allow yourself to mourn your loss
Nobody thinks of a likely divorce when getting married. Whatever reason you end up in divorce, it’s a type of loss.
Despite your experience in marriage and through a divorce, grief is an integral part of any loss.
Couples undergoing divorce often wonder what they did wrong or feel remorseful for what they did or didn’t do. Instead of focusing on such emotions, it’s important to create room for them.
Just like any other kind of loss, divorce can leave you with a feeling of emptiness. The empty space divorce creates was once filled with something desirable or not. Allow yourself to mourn your loss because it’s a normal way of dealing with grief.
Opt for talk therapy to work through your feelings
When starting a new life post-divorce, leave your heavy baggage and bad experience from your previous marriage or relationship where it belongs. Don’t carry it into your new life.
After your marriage comes to an end, find a way to deal with your emotions. You may need counseling services to walk you through your feelings.
Share your feelings with a therapist. You can also indulge in a healthy activity you enjoy to make good use of the pent up energy.
Although you can easily ignore your emotions after divorce, they can easily overwhelm you and pollute your future life. Therefore, you should work through your feelings to overcome them.
Note that getting talk therapy doesn’t mean that you’re in a crisis or a problem. Instead, it’s a way for you to work towards your happiness and a better life.
Learn how to like and love yourself
After divorce, many divorcees undergo self-rejection. Most people blame themselves for being unable to do anything to stop the divorce.
Therefore, they feel there’s something wrong with them because the relationship failed to work.
Work on building your self-esteem and confidence. Believe in your self-worth and have faith in yourself. Determine the things you like about yourself and develop self-love.
Treat yourself with lots of love.
For instance, you can invest in a garage heater with an adjustable thermostat to enjoy hot showers every morning and evening for relaxing reasons. Even if you prefer a tankless water heater, opt for a reliable brand such as Rinnai to get value for your money.
A hot shower can relax both your mind and body, relieving you of the stress that comes with divorce.
Rediscover self before the marriage
Many people drop things they enjoyed while single upon entering marriage to fit in the “couplehood.”
Perhaps you enjoyed going out but you got married to someone who prefers staying home. It’s likely you loved going to the theater, but you married a spouse who wasn’t into the activity.
Rediscover the things you loved doing before getting married. What were your fun activities and hobbies in your initial single life? Which ones did you defer when you got married?
Re-indulge in those activities and interests to rebuild your new self.
Discover the new you
Divorce is difficult, unwelcome, and life-changing.
However, every cloud or challenge in life has a silver lining. Leave behind your difficult experience and try something new to develop a new lifestyle as a new single.
Consider any of the following:
- A different worship center
- A new sport
- A simple haircut after wearing locks for many years
- Advancing your career
- Going back to college
- Moving to a new city
- Living in Paris for a year
Factor in your job, kids, and budget when considering these likely changes, and be cautious to ensure that you make the right decision.
Opt for changes within your reach to ensure that rediscovering the new you is a smooth process. Make sure the changes are constructive, appropriate, and healthy.
Whom do you want to be? The previous you prior to getting married or a completely new person? What things can you do differently?
Make changes within your reach without dwelling so much on the things beyond your ability.
Create conventional relationships
Once you’re ready to date again, consider a traditional relationship. Make sure it’s within your comfort zone and with someone you like or you type. Note that this is neither about a rebound nor thinking about starting another long-term relationship.
Have you always preferred athletes, sensitive musicians, spouses from a specific socioeconomic background, or the quiet, shy type?
Change your usual date preferences and stretch your horizons of dating to try something different.
Don’t be afraid to be alone and accept your new roles to reinvent and rediscover yourself after divorce.